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“Anyone who angers you, conquers you.”


 


“Whatever you do, stamp out abuses, and love those who love you.”
          -Voltaire


“Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.”

           -Ghandi

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”


Dealing With Anger

What is Anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals.  Dealing with anger is an important skill to learn, but many never do.

The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. People also have very different methods of dealing with anger.  Some hold it in, and some let it out in violent bursts.  Neither of these methods of dealing with anger are healthy.

Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion.

Anger can be constructive or destructive. When people are successful in dealing with anger, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up dealing with anger signals has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressures raises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous 'loose cannon' whom no one wants to be around.

Those who fail at dealing with anger properly alienate friends, co-workers and family members. It also has a clear relationship with health problems and early mortality. Hostile, aggressive anger not only increases your risk for an early death, but also your risk for social isolation, which itself is a major risk factor for serious illness and death. These are but two of many reasons why properly dealing with anger is a good idea. Harry Mills, Ph.D. http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5803&cn=116

Dealing With Anger



 


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